It’s been a long time since I’ve journaled here or on paper in my personal journal. A lot of things have happened this year (even though it’s only March!!).
I’ve gained back every ounce of weight I lost last spring working with my trainer. Part of that is because in January I found out I was pregnant which was a HUGE surprise because we thought I couldn’t get pregnant at the weight I was. The end of January (about a week after we found out I was pregnant) my mom passed away unexpectedly. Mid-February I started cramping and spotting, I miscarried. These events have giving me some fuel to buckle down on my health and get ME under control while not only making me feel better, but also giving me an outlet to grieve.
By some miracle, J was home when everything happened! He should be on the other side of the globe, but God knew he needed to be home. These past few months have strengthened our marriage and the bond that was feeling tugs here and there is strong again.
Has my faith wavered? I little bit, how could it not? But, I’m very grateful knowledge that I have knowing that families are eternal. I know my mom is carrying around our Baby Groot showing them off to all the ancestors. I can feel when she is near me. I can feel when my dad is near me. I know we’re being watched and protected and hugged.
We move this summer back to the lower 48 and we’re excited to be closer to family and friends. I’m cleared to work out again, so I’m starting that today. I restart my classes on Monday, hoping to graduate by winter, but with the move that may not be feasible. As of right now, I’m really taking one day at a time embracing the chaos that our little family of four can bring.
Rest of March:
Keep looking for updates more regularly as journaling is helping me heal. People ask me why I am so open about my trials and my answer is simple, because I hope what I’m going through will help others to know it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.